Monday, September 21, 2015

Church of Imprisoned Identity.

I was reading about Caitlyn Jenner, and I'm one of those empathetic guys. I can empathize with someone who isn't happy with what they see in the mirror; with someone who can't reconcile their personality or identity with their outward visage.

I think many people are way too hard on the girl, and justify their illogic by saying things like, oh, she did it for the publicity, or she did it to make money...

It doesn't make sense, not one tit, what people say she did it for, because NO ONE changes their gender for a publicity stunt or a get-rich-quick scheme. Not one soul. Guaranteed.

When people say such things, it is my belief that they think too shallowly. It may be that they are angry over what they consider a betrayal by a favorite public figure turning out to be something or someone else. It may be that they harbor secret desires to make changes in themselves and resent that someone else actually could do it. It may be that they think rich people don't deserve happiness, don't deserve self-realization, don't deserve privacy in very private matters. All these types of thinking are shallow and shameful.

WE, the society that elevated Jenner to a celebrity status through our consumption of entertainment - WE owe Jenner an apology. Here's a person who sacrificed their privacy to tell a story, to make public a story that desperately needed to be told. WE consumed that story. WE cannot be unmoved, WE purport to be a compassionate people but WE treat the story like entertainment.

But it's all very real to Jenner, and people like Jenner all over the world.

Not everyone has the financial means to do anything about it. Not everyone can get their story told. Not everyone has people to listen to their story. Many people like Jenner have to be the victim in the story, and never get to be the hero.

Prejudice plays a vicious role in how the public reacts to Jenner. Is there such a word as "transphobia?" As usual, WE (the society) are piranhas about that which is foreign, that which is uncomfortable, that which is different. WE claim a moral stance from behind a mask and call it "religion." I call it the Church of Imprisoned Identities - complete with chains and manacles and torture devices and that incessant chanting.

Having known only a very few transgender folk in my lifetime personally, I feel under-educated. I know so little about the story they have to tell.

In one case, the person couldn't do anything about her situation until MUCH later in her life, and suffered much at the hands of employers, friends and family over the transition.

In another case, I knew a youngster who knew at an early age and found support in family and friends.

The only other case that I'm aware of personally was of a woman who took very nearly a lifetime to make the transition, due to money issues, lack of support, and outright opposition.

I do NOT confuse transgender with cross-dressing. I fully recognize there is a distinct and important difference between the two. But I do know of at least one individual who cross-dresses (in secret) only because transition is forever out of reach for his personal situation.

Under-educated doesn't have to be unenlightened. I can't imagine living my life not as my self. How horribly foreign it must be to be trapped into an existence that is brought about by the expectation of others, that is forced into necessity due to the hate by others. What prison could be worse than the one in our minds, our freedoms stripped by the attitudes and prejudices of others?

I have been fortunate enough to be free to be who I am at a fairly early age. In high school, I did not dare to be me. Shortly after high school, I can remember denying myself to people who I thought were my friends. In my twenties, I was able to be more honest with myself, and therefore more honest with others. I was lucky. I was just gay. It doesn't cost thousands of dollars to come out (unlike transitional surgeries for transgenders). I can be selectively closeted if necessary, to preserve career, relationships, perceptions.

Transgender folk have to start whole new lives. There's no hiding it - they either have to give up their existing lives and move elsewhere so their transition is not known; or they have to "come out" in a far more dramatic way in their current lives -  a far more visible way, a far more public way.

I propose that we all go easy on transgenders, because either way, it's a tremendous course they are taking. They need our support, our compassion, our empathy, our sympathy - our love.

See Jenner on the cover of Vanity Fair

(This has been a stream-of-consciousness which I will surely revisit for editing and completeness.)





Thursday, July 2, 2015

Magic-Mike-Types.

I never saw "Magic Mike." I don't expect to see "Magic Mike XXL."

There, I said it.

How can I resist, you ask?


The guys are hot. The guys in jeans are hot. There is no doubt.

But, inexplicably, I have no interest in the movie(s). I can't explain it. Please don't ask me to.

But since you asked, I postulate that it may be the simple reason that I may have seen exactly ALL of the best moments already through trailers and PR photos. Or, it may be that watching a bunch of (straight) women clamor over these very hot guys does little to veil a flimsy plot line. Or, it may be that guys like these don't REALLY exist.

Who knows? One thing for sure, it's not fair for me to hazard any guesses, because I haven't seen the material.

What is fair to say, though, is that, while these guys are hot (have I said that yet?), these guys don't satisfy my desire for REAL men. These guys are porn quality - the two-dimensional type hot guys I can see in every porn video who wouldn't give me the time of day in real life.

I want to know where there are more "Full Monty" type guys in modern entertainment. All we ever see in movies, it seems, are these "Magic Mike" types - the guys who CAN "get the girl" with absolutely no problem. For that matter, they surely can "get the guy," too, if they are so inclined.

Me? I root for the underdog - the "normal" guy with a few more curves and imperfections that make him REAL. I'd rather spend my ticket money on helping THAT guy feel sexy and desirable. Hell, I AM that guy. I want to feel desirable and sexy, to know that my technique of muscle-concealment is appealing to someone (anyone!).

However, having said all that, if any of the "Magic Mike" guys showed up at my party and asserted how REAL they are, I might be convinced. Please try.