Mars Needs Gay People.

I can't imagine why people would want to create a colony underground on Mars...  the surface alone is enough to depress Robin Williams...  I think I read only three percent of the planet is "habitable."
Most of it underground.
But I can understand the need to get off THIS planet.
Sometimes I can't even breathe on THIS planet.
I'm not really referring to air quality. I have spied so many aliens, vampires, ghouls and goblins; so many monsters and villians - I know, I know, it takes all kinds to make a world...
Escapism is a favorite hobby of mine, and I was entranced by movies like Total Recall that told of domed communities on the red planet - the stark contrast of the landscape outside the domes to the decadence of the inside of those domes...  oh, yeah, such a domed existence is appealing, right?  But where would you escape to?
Personally, I am glad for the privatization of space travel, because I believe consumerism will drive progress way better than any government program...  but will I, in my lifetime, see it become possible for ME to get off this planet?

Antimatter Spaceships Could Make Long Flights Before End Of Century, Space Consultants Say

I keep scheming on ways to get Richard Branson to include me in his colonization plans. Last I checked, sadly, the man doesn't even know I'm alive. Certainly I didn't make his list: "Obviously, you are going to want scientists initially. You're going to want physicians, you're going to want comedians, you're going to want fun people, beautiful people, ugly people - a good cross-section of what happens on Earth - on Mars. People have got to be able to get on together, because it's going to be quite confined."  I believe that his accidental omission of gay people is negligent - someone has GOT to help  decorate the planet. I guess, perhaps, that I am included in the list, in a round-about way - I am, after all, fun. And gay people would be the solution to the culture dilemma - apparently lacking on Mars.
Branson claims he will see this colonization occur in his lifetime. So, I have sixteen years to introduce myself, ingratiate myself, and make him realize how badly Mars needs gay people. I suppose getting him to fall in love with me is out of the question.
My current strategy is to find the fountain of youth, regress to my teenage years, and make the Catholic priest he selects to go want me as his trusty altar boi.
If that doesn't work, I will resort to Plan 9 - recruit the undead to take over his ship and take me with them.