A Quandary

It is sad, sobering, cold-hard fact that there are people in this world who follow blindly this thing called religion.
I recognize that people get through life better with a moral structure, a framework that allows them to follow their straight-and-narrow path to their version of the "there-after." I get that it helps them find peace of mind and puts them in commune with others so they can feel less alone in this world. For this reason, I recognize their need, acknowledge the necessity, and try my hardest to accept it.
But, more aptly put, I think many of them are following a straight-only, narrow-minded path to their "there-after." In the name of their "God," they follow intrinsically elitist thought, thinking themselves better than others because they are can justify themselves with this lemming-logic called religion.

To provide a specific example, I have a relative, who shared a meme espousing the belief that Marriage is between one man, one woman. She claimed that this message was "God-Approved," and ignored the fact that the meme she shared was the propaganda of a hate group focused on couching hate in religious terms to further their hateful agenda.
I called this relative out on this. She responded with an assertion that she would not apologize for what she believed in and "was not a member of" the hate group and "didn't know it was a hate group," as if that were any excuse. AND, she left the meme posted. No remorse, no apology for having offended her own family member(s), and was defiant in her defense of her belief, stating she had no intention to offend anyone when she posted it.
I told her she had lost respect in my eyes, asked for the removal of the meme, and tried to debug her logic. Eventually, she relented, but only sort of. She removed the meme, but the retraction came with a caveat: she posted this in its stead:

"I removed a post that I shared today because I was told that it comes from a hurtful source and I believe in keeping peace. :-) As far as what the post said, however, I still believe that the definition of marriage is a lifelong union between a man and a woman and nothing more."

I cannot call this a victory. I may have prevented the circulation of hate-driven meme, but I did not change a heart. I have no superpowers here, I am a mere mortal, and one that falls directly outside the fence of her elitist thought.
Is it her fault that her "religion" calls for the systematic segregation of those with a broader capacity to love?  Is it her fault that her "religion" is based on Old Testament scripture and written works by men lead astray from Jesus' teachings?
Is it her fault that hate permeates this world in the guise of love?

YES.

She, and all others who have been taught this way of thinking, should apply critical-thinking skills and the actual teachings of Jesus to examine more carefully the messages in and behind the religion, the memes, the faith, that she wears on her sleeve. She should not accept blindly that which she does not truly understand, she should know the sources and motivations behind the thing(s) she repeats. She should be open to dialogue that challenges her to think, that expands her knowledge, that broadens her world.
And, she should, at the very least, be sensitive to the people in her family that she claims to love - apparently with qualification.

As for me, I question why I care. Who is she to me, other than a relative of the family? I assert that the true definition of family is those that act like it. Do true family members say things like "I love you, but I don't agree with your lifestyle," as if being gay was MY choice? Do true family members say "I don't think you are equal to me, and therefore I oppose your rights to live your life? Do true family members oppose my right to live a happy, healthy life in which I cause no harm to others?

People such as these really have no place in my life. And yet, how can I change their hearts if they are not? It is a quandary I must ponder...